My earliest recall of unrealistic expectations begin with seeing this beautiful lady leave the waters of the beach with braids like I often wore as child accompanied by beads; she leaves the water and runs on the beach with this perfect body looking flawless, her name Bo Derek.  That scene became an ionic one for millions all wanting to create that time or moment.  Women wanted to look like her, men wanted to see more women like that.

Expectations are a must, for without them one becomes passive about any and everything.  One should always expect something it is a way of setting standards, creating demands for you as a person from the people one engages regularly as well as potential or future associates, friends, business people and the like.  Expectations tell people that you cannot just walk into my space giving nothing, be it respect, consideration, kindness; all of which may seem insignificant but are in actuality monumental.  Expectations help to create healthy boundaries for one’s personal space, and limits as to what one will accept or not accept from others.  Expectations are building blocks and build an individual from the inside out.  However, unrealistic expectations do just the opposite.

To live according to standards set by TV or other appearances is not healthy but rather a disease.  Although one is influenced greatly by the imagines watched on TV, there are the images one views on a daily basis that can be just as deadly portrayed by leaders in the community.  In fact there are times when leaders can appear to be too perfect leaving no room for error, or character building which then sends the wrong message.  Do you know how many people have given up hope because the people that set standards in his or her life or the ones that they look to have an image that he or she feels can never be obtained.  The personification of perfection is an all too real unhealthy unrealistic pursuit in the church.  To say the right thing, to always know the right thing and do the right thing is impossible!

There was only one among us that could feel those shoes and you know the story, HE was crucified.  What unhealthy unrealistic expectations are you living with, through or by?  What unnecessary self-inflicted pain are you causing trying to live in this way?  What message are you sending on a daily basis?  To find the balance of expectations isn’t easy, however it must be pursued at all cost.  As people in any position, from employee to mangers, as parents, as church leaders, as leaders in community; there is always a standard set to one.  There is always someone dictating how, what, to what degree something is proper or improper and not all of those thoughts or standard are wrong.  However, one must resist the urge to live by impossible standards.  Set your own expectations that are healthy and fight against anyone who requires or desires you to live according UNHEALTHY  UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.

Remember the standard you set for someone else is the same standard someone will set for you one day.  Don’t demand anything you cannot fulfill yourself personally.

 

KD