Words 2

In an attempt to not be too preachy as it relates to my blog, but as a believer of the Word and a Minister of the Gospel; it’s hard not to refer to Word of God in certain situations.  The “D” Bible verse, (known to my students) says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue and he that loveth shall eat the fruit thereof” ~Proverbs 18:21.  The words we choose to speak are crucial!  Words are our thoughts; we believe our thoughts and our thoughts become our actions.

The choices made on how one describe his or herself, the words one speaks about his or herself as well as the words one speaks to others makes all the difference in the way you view and handle situations and circumstances.   It begins with our hearing the words we hear consistently develop our belief system.  If one hears negative things consistently he or she becomes a product of that environment.  He or she will speak to others and express him or herself in negative terms because it will become their normal.  It is the same way he or she will treat and deal with others unless he or she is successful exposed and accepts a better or different way to express his or herself.  Whatever a person’s normal is (be it negative or positive), based on what you have become accustomed to hearing, it is that sense of normalcy a person will seek from others.

The way one speaks is taught behavior that extends beyond the simple choice of words but registers in the mindset of the individual speaking.  The words become the way one thinks, perceives others and the way he or she processes everyday activity.  Have you ever known someone that no matter what or how something is said; can always see the bad?  That person seems to make everything black or white, wrong or right, for me or against me?  He or she is a product of their environment.  Words are soooooo vitally important.  The choice of words began by the way we teach our children and grows from there.  I know someone that I love dearly and that person can only speak, enjoy themselves if they are speaking about something in a negative fashion.  Sounds creepy huh?  It’s not.  For example, this person will only tell you things that they don’t like.  So if you suggest going here, their statement is; “I don’t like crowds.”  There is never an alternative suggestion offered and if you bring up something that they enjoy, they will agree and that’s that.  No additional comments on how much they like doing this or that; but if there is a negative story of any type, that person will share it until it cannot be shared anymore.

The decisions/choices one makes are based on the thoughts entertained.  People who tend to view things from a negative perspective have been taught to do so by either the repetitive hearing or the things that the individual encounters and in most cases a combination of both.  Often the two can reinforce one another. Hearing negative and having negative occur completes a negative picture of their life based on reality for that individual.  The thing is that picture of his or herself; is dismal and not completely true and a half truth is always a whole lie.  Good and bad things happen to everyone but when your perception is defined by the negativity one will always and often see his or herself through the eyes of being a victim, smaller than the problem, unable to overcome, and the forever underdog.

Although we cannot see words, we can see the affect that words have on one another as well as ourself.  It will limit or hinder that things and people one will expose his or herself; it stops the progress of growing making one stagnant and bitter.  Words build low self-esteem or they can promote great self-esteem.  Words fuel love or they can fuel hate.  Words are powerful and since everyone has a voice, has the ability to use them, we must be careful as to how  we use them.

  • Be slow to speak, especially when you are angry. Even when you don’t mean to, speaking harshly is always remembered.  While you can apologize, you’ll never be able to remove or erase what a person heard coming out of your mouth
  • Use your words sparingly. Less really is more at times.
  • Choose your words carefully. It’s important to mean what you say and say what you mean.
  • UNDERSTAND THE WORDS YOU USE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could speak all day on this point. People who attempt to use words that they do not understand often hurt and damage relationships beyond repair!  Take your time and understand what you are trying to say and communicate that effectively.  I know a kid whose lack of education makes him almost illiterate at times.  His ability to explain himself is sooo basic and his understanding even more basic.  Fear, hopefully embarrassment prevents him from learning and doing better.  However, all bad communications and relationships, he blames on others and his dad allows it because he doesn’t know how to help him communicate better.  That leads me to the next point….
  • ACCEPT Criticism and teaching so you can communicate effectively – There are times when the person who has the ability to help you, make not be the one you want but overlook that, get the help and move on!
  • Be angry but don’t destroy. EVERYBODY gets upset at some point, however words can either promote peaceful resolution or they can promote violent resolution.
  • WORDS ARE WEAPONS! Just as powerful as bullet and as lethal as a bomb, words in the wrong hands can destroy generations to come!
  • WORDS ARE THE ULTIMATE BOOMERANG – yep they come back to bite people all the time. The things one will speak to and about others can and will become his or her own reality.
  • Words are seeds that never stop reproducing and growing, plant good ones.

The choices you make with your words can have severe consequences.  Choose Wisely!


SOWING & REAPING, You can’t reap a Harvest in places U haven’t sown!


Have you ever believed in something or someone and was later wrong?  Have you ever invested into people so much, gave so much and at the end of the relationship found out that there was nothing left for you?  Have you ever been wronged and felt the one who wronged you, got off?  Have you ever done the things you thought were right and felt that somehow you were still getting the short end of the stick?  Have you ever given your all to something and it didn’t give it back to you?  I’m sure many of us have experienced at least one of these questions.  You know where you have given your all, have done the things you felt were right and were wrong.  The worst part is that when you are doing something that you think is right, when do you find out it’s not?!

Okay, let’s put this in context. If you invested into a person or loved someone and did the things you thought would make them happy only to find out, it wasn’t enough or it wasn’t the right thing.  How would you feel?  I’ll tell you, mad, betrayed, upset, hurt, belittled and defeated; that’s just to name a few of the emotions.  Think of it like this, you cannot reap in places you haven’t sown. You cannot get a check from the Burger King Company if you are employed at McDonalds.  If you put more time in at work, then you can’t expect your family to be excited or just waiting on you at home.  Of course any man or woman who works to provide for his or her family would disagree and I get that point, to a degree…..however, where your time and energy goes so too shall your harvest.

Sowing and reaping is a principle!  It will stand the test of time, the test of people, the test of product.  It doesn’t matter what scenario you describe you can use the principle of sowing and reaping to determine where, how great and how valuable a harvest could become or not become.  It’s a principle and not a cliché .  The thing is most people tend to do things assuming, hoping and thinking that it will yield a certain return without testing along the way.

A thing can begin one way, and in the process of time, energy, change, seasons, growth, obstacles; the need and desires that were in the beginning have shifted.  If a person remains with the original plan for the sake of keeping the plan, all the work, the sowing will be in vain because what he or she hopes to reap will not be the same.  Let me give you an example.  Since we are using the terms, ‘sowing and reaping’, let’s use crops.  A farmer can begin or set out to plow the land for one crop and based on weather, climate, changes in the weather or seasons, realize that the original plan, while it was good at the time may require twerking.  Okay, first let me say this is a simplistic so don’t go too far and miss the point.  In the example, if the farmer had not cultivated or revisited his plan, meaning continued researching, continued watching weather reports, continued reviewing the plan;  he or she would have missed the signs that told him or her that the original plan should be aborted.

Relationships are the same way.  Two people begin in one manner but hopefully, prayerfully, both parties will grow.  Without revisiting with one another, without talking and making sure along the way that the needs of each partner are met, it is easy for one to outgrow the other person and separation enters.   It is possible to sow in a place for the right reason and still not reap the harvest one desired.  It’s possible to sow too long, too much, too often and then turn for help, comfort in a place that hasn’t been cultivated.  At that point, one could feel isolated and lonely.  However, expecting withdrawals from places where you have ceased to deposit is unrealistic.

What are you saying?  Simply in 2018, be mindful into the places where you sow!  Sowing is equivalent to planting.  Planting is to give people time, energy, space, attention, emotions, affection; when you give it all in one area in one place you cannot expect to look to another place to reap!

  • Parents we must have jobs to pay the bills, however the jobs do not have to have us all the time!
  • If you work, work while you are at work and stop allowing pressures and attempts to please and prove to others; make you take work home!
  • Learn to unwind, disengage from work on the way home so that when you get home you can sow into your family!
  • Sowing is continually for hours.  BALANCE!  Balance work and Balance Family.  Too often we balance family more than we do work but in the end, when the times are critical it is family we want.  Do not need help or comfort or expect a harvest in places you have neglected!  It will not be there and at that point you can blame no one.
  • Sow into yourself!  NO not buy yourself things, sow into you! Never lose the essence of who you are!  Sow value into you by what you say to yourself, how you see yourself.  Strengthen your strengths and starve your weaknesses.
  • EVALUATE! EVALUATE! EVALUATE!  We need to be scientists of our own lives!  Stop going through the motions, having the same arguments without reflecting on how, why and what causes them!  UUGh!  We quote “doing the same thing expecting different results is insanity” and yet we in our actions, we make no adjustments.  WHY? Because we tend to not evaluate what happened!  Usually, we remember how and why someone made us mad but fail to see how our language, tone, timing or any other emotions affected what or how the other person felt.  We tend to keep our same habits but want different results!  HELLO!  Habits aren’t principles!  They can change and habits will not stand the test of time, etc… because if a habit is killing us, we will and must change or stop it!


If you aren’t sowing the harvest you expect, go back and trace your seeds!



There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!  These are the last three lines in the move; “The Wizard or Oz or The Wiz”, that we hear before Dorothy is able to go back to Kansas.  What we learn in the movie is that it wasn’t any magic in the three lines other than Dorothy’s belief in those lines.  When she really wanted to go home, she could do so.  Her journey was a personal one all along.

Like Dorothy, many of us say words, phrases even speak monologues about how one feels about his or herself; the things we like, will do and won’t do; but the truth is the proof of our actions.

I always say that if you have to announce certain things then maybe they aren’t true.  If you have to tell people, “I love myself, I’m the boss, I’m in charge or I will not do this or that”; then more than likely those statements aren’t true.  Real emotions, feelings, thoughts aren’t always verbalized but show forth in the actions of the individual, the way they walk, speak, the confidence and just their aroma.  Truth be told, you know about people long before you approach them if you pay attention.  A lot of people pay attention too.  Long before you speak, interviewers, co-workers, onlookers, potential mates, haters and just nosy people already have a sense about who you are.  Now don’t get me wrong a vast majority of those people will be wrong, however there will be some that see the insecurities you work to hide.  While the words we speak may be loud and resounding; the actions we take are greater.

Your mouth says, “I love the skin, I’m in or the person I am,” but your bowed head and inability to look people in their eye, screams doubt and lack of confidence.

Your mouth says, “I know my worth”, but the partner that you chose that’s over-bearing and controlling says I don’t know who I am and I compromise for the person that loves me.

Your mouth says, “I love my body”, but the oversize clothes tell another story of maybe cover-up and hiding.

Your mouth says, “I’m an open book”, but the cross arms tell people not to go further or that they are invading your privacy.

Our mouth is one of the most powerful members of the body, the negative things spoken out of it determines our actions, prohibits, stops and prevents one from moving forward and the positive things spoken out of our mouth encourages, builds and makes one want to move forward.  However it is possible for the words from our mouth to be in direct conflict with our actions.  One thing the mouth cannot do; is to make our actions lie.  It can boast great things but if the things are not true, or accurate, our actions will always give us away.

What do your actions say?



Obstacles I will not quit, I may bend but I will not break


I recently wrote an article, maybe at the beginning of this year about defining moments.  I think every person who has ever reached a milestone in life or become successful has had a, or several, defining moments.  Sometimes a moment can thrust one into destiny and other moments build upon the momentum of the thrust.  Although the defining moments are not the best moments one can have, they definitely are instrumental in changing a person’s attitude, thoughts and dreams.

Having a defining moment, doesn’t mean that obstacles will not come.  I think one of the greatest untruths is that people who are successful do not encounter obstacles like “normal” people.  I can’t tell you how many times, I’ve had those conversations with friends, family assuming that people with money, people who are successful are so without obstacles because otherwise they would be normal like those of us in the conversation.  I must admit there were times when I felt the exact same way.  I felt that my past was bad and that’s what I kept getting trouble and that trouble kept me from succeeding.  Based on that logic alone, I was preparing myself for mediocrity.

Nothing goes wrong until you decide to do something! Nothing! Life is easy, care-free, smooth sailing almost dull.  In fact, it’s the carefree, extra time on your hand that prompts and promotes one into action.  It’s in the quiet moment you begin to think about the things you could do, places you go and life you can live when the times are quiet and smooth.  However, the minute you decide to take action obstacles appear.  Obstacles are never a sign to stop, there are the bridge that separates the doers from the talkers, they are the bridge of decision because at the sign of obstacle either you will move forward crossing the bridge or enjoy the view from the side of the bridge.

One moment can change your life but that moment must be followed by other actions that lead one progressively forward even when it would appear that things are working against you.  Successful people are determined people, they are positive people who have learned that every obstacle isn’t meant to break, most, are meant to build you.  Real success means entering into a place that one has yet to see before, a view that one hasn’t even imagined, to enter into a season of winning, and overcoming, well you can’t enter that season without preparation and expectancy.  Obstacles come to operate the muscles required for the new level of your aspirations.

Maybe you started out the new year with goals, a new mindset and now you feel that you’ve lost your way or fallen off.  Okay get back on! You don’t need a new year on the calendar to begin again, each day is an opportunity to do, move and grow! So let’s get busy.  Oh and look for the obstacles instead of allowing them to shock you, be ready for them and strategically dance over or around them but accomplish your goals!


LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES, Cont’d How do U, handle Power? Influence?


Leadership is a powerful thing.  Most people want the power it brings, the influence and the confidence that they think being a leader will give.  However, having a platform of leadership doesn’t change who you are.  It only amplifies the person you are already.  Your faults are magnified because now there are so many people watching, your strengths are magnified but at much smaller rate because now instead of being celebrated, people will tend to say, “you should know, you should do”; what was once impressive isn’t so impressive anymore.

Ahhh, leadership.  Power, Money, Control, Influence; they are all a part of the package deal known as leadership.  When one isn’t a leader, it’s easy to see, judge, predict and even determine how another one should handle his or her position.  Yet an opportunity to become or take a leadership role may prove to be a downfall of the one who spent years looking up to a coveted role.

Let’s be clear, no leader starts at the top or starts where he or she ends but there is a very different mindset of a leader regardless of whether he or she is viewed as a leader throughout the journey.  As I mentioned in the last blog, a real leader will always surface without regard to the level that he or she has the pleasure of serving.  So, if he or she is among the workers, he or she will still stand out.  The leadership is there and more importantly the mindset.

However, the journey to leadership isn’t easy nor without hits and turmoil, bumps and bruises and even some mistreatment.  A good leader will not misuse or abuse his power toward or on others once in control. The real test of leadership is the way one handles power, influence and responsibility.

The “wanna be” Leader- imitates the leader prior to him or her.  You can always tell them because they do and say things without even thinking about the implications or reasons for why things were said or done.  Basically, they mimic the actions of people that they perceive to be leaders and more specifically the actions that they like!  These people think leadership is all about control, dictating and fearing people into doing what they ask of them.  They never understood or even thought that people follow leadership and leaders because they are pure, of good report, fair, mature and honest.  You know these types always looking for a scandal because that’s how they think.

The “mad” leader – is the one using his or her position to revenge every injustice.  They watched things that they didn’t like or agree with, no matter how large or how small.  They made mental notes and so in their rise to leadership, they are still operating from the small mind of the follower.  They tend to be more corrective, more discipline and controlling even to the point of micromanaging their subordinates.  They have made it to leadership but still tend to major on the minor!  Like the mad hatter, riddles, rhymes, puzzles, you can’t see the big picture with them and neither can they.

The benefits leader – how will it benefit them!  They are more laid back, the department and/or people runs itself, there are issues that require addressing but they do so only when it benefits them.  Never mind the chaos, the frustration of trying to accomplish work in that environment, or the frustration of the employees/co-workers, it’s all about them and how they appear before and to others as the slime up the corporate ladder.

The Drunk with Power Leader – I think that’s the one, I’ve seen the most and experienced the most and not in a good way!  It’s like being black.  Before I shake hands, speak or begin to discuss myself, you know that I’m black.  My skin color announces me, so if I walked into the room and said “Good morning, I’m black”; people would think, and rightfully so, how ignorant is she?  It’s the same thing for a leader who has to announce and demonstrate their power on every level.  Micro-managing the employees day-to-day activities, ready to implement disciplinary measurements on everything at all times, paranoid about employees wasting time, taking things or projects being incomplete, accusing rather than asking and always ready to hire new people at the drop of the hat.  All signs of a person drunk with power.  You can own the company and be drunk in power.  The truth of the matter is if you know who you are, and understand your power or influence then there is no need to abuse the power.

Abuse is also misuse of power.  There is never a need for consistent threats, or tools to make one feel inferior when you are a leader in fact the leader should do quite the opposite.

Handling power is a sensitive thing and the ability to do so is priceless.  You can always tell a veteran or an elder of power by the way he or she will use it.  Whether they carry it like a torch ready to burn up an offender or if they know how to use the tool to build and inspire others; a leader is known by the people or victims that follow.

If you have been hurt before and you are a leader, then be mindful of the past.  First get help, a therapist that you can talk to about your hurt.  A leader should never feel or see his or herself as invincible but always remain open to get and receive help.   Everyone reports to someone.

Misuse of power is abuse of power and when you aren’t leader enough to get help, think about how many people you are willing to lead into hurt.

Kimberly Davis

“I approve this message”

Are WE Being Feared into Silence?

kneel (1)


Truth be told, I think I came into the world with my fist clinched, shouting “Black Power.”  My date of birth was April 5, 1968, literally the day after the assai nation of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  It was this act of violence that pushed my mom into labor and being born in a city miles away due to an enforced curfew after the shooting probably help to shape my mind about the struggle of equality.  Then there are my parents who taught me to be proud of who I am and what it meant to be black in America and I’m forever grateful.  My skin tone has always been extremely light and my entire life, my nickname was/is “white gal.”  Looking at my family, it was easy to spot me.  There were times when people didn’t believe my mother was my mother due to our skin tones.  She was a beautiful dark sister and when that would happen, often I felt hurt and mad.  I mean that’s MY momma, to me we looked just alike.  However, I remember wanting to be darker because I hated the way people made it seem that we were two totally different looking people based on our skin tones because the face was really the same!  Nevertheless, passive, remaining silent has never been my style!

I was driving in the car and contemplating on beginning the T-Shirt business.  I put a statement out on Facebook one (which incidentally I can’t remember for the life of me), and one of my friends said, I need this on a T-shirt.  Confirmation!  I had designs, pictures that had been saved for this purpose.  I have no clue what I had been waiting on to do it.  In the car, I thought about the stance, Kapernick, took and what it meant not just to him but what it represents to us all, as black people in America.

We’ve all recited the pledge of Allegiance and the words speak volume unless you find yourself on the other side of the justice that you have declared your allegiance.  Not just you, but people who look like you.  Justice is not perfect for everyone but consistently we have seen that the justice system in America is actively against Black people.  We’ve watched injustices, marched, protest and not just recently but for years.   So when Collin Kapernick, used his name, fame and position to take a knee during the singing of the National Anthem, the black-lash and outrage from fans that he received and encountered was both unfair and alarming to me.  IT REALLY TICKED ME OFF!  I felt he used his platform respectively and responsibly.

With him in mind, driving in the car, I thought about the words to the pledge of allegiance and the ending struct me……………..”indivisible with liberty and justice for all”?  Really?  We know that not to be the case The majority of inmates (those who were blessed enough to live to stand trial are Black American Men, an overwhelming number of those black men are innocent, let’s not mention the sentencing variations that ensure our black men do hard time for years and even life over crimes that others would only receive minimum sentencing or even probation.  This cycle of policing ensures that there are more black boys growing up without fathers around and that the cycle of making money on us will continue.  In addition, bring on private prisons that gain free labor and continue what really could be known as “slavery.”  This is the America that far too many of know and experience!  Our communities have yet to see, consistently “justice for all”!

So the singing of the National Anthem is even about an America most do not know.  The words imply that we are united and the home of the brave but too often, our men and women have fought and been treated every way BUT EQUAL.  Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to say home of the fearful, home of those supported, as long as, you do, behave in manners that make the majority happy, secure or as they desire, whatever that may mean at any time?

Protesting is the foundation on which the country we call “America”, the great melting pot was built!  Yet repeatedly protest for Civil Rights for Black Americans is punished physically through violence, socially and financially through ostracism and poor portrayal on social media and media in general.  Demonstrations by Black Americans are labeled as riots or radical movements while the KKK marches and it’s called peaceful protest.  Watching this Pro NFL player take hits or fines for his belief and to silently but strongly protest was absolutely beautiful!  Indeed, he demonstrated courage and tenacity as well as one who will put their money where their mouth is.

I created this T-Shirt in honor of his sacrifice and simply because I believe in what he did and his right to protest peaceful and labeled being disrespectful, rude or unpatriotic.  Like I said when I thought about the “allegiance to this flag” the words said, I was highly motivated to continue making the statement.   Lots of people have viewed this shirt and THEY LOVE IT, but you would be surprised as to how many will not buy it because they are afraid to wear it.  Yes in 2017, the age of freedom, the age of saying whatever, the age of social media journalist and freedom speakers; yet people are afraid to wear a shirt that vocalizes their belief.

And so it begins……………………………………..Are we being scared into silence?




“Punish me for my words, because I will not die cowardly silent”  Kimberly Guy Davis

My next T-Shirt and yep that quote, me!

Are you chasing YOUR Words? Words Matter Part 2

I’ve said it before words are the ultimate boomerang.  Words have power.  Once spoken they take on life in the speaker as well as the hearer.  Words linger, hang around, shape, alter, confirm, raise doubt, build confidence or ignite fear; the power of words are seen in the actions taken by people.  So are we chasing the words we say or are the words spoken shaping our lives?  CONFUSED?

How many times have you uttered words like: “if it were me, I wouldn’t”, “I will never”, “I wouldn’t do this”, “it couldn’t be me”, “if it were up to me”, “there’s no why I could” and the variations are endless.  The point is as people we speak over our life at different points and times.  Too often the words we speak in the future are from the negative point of view determining what we will not do before it even occurs.  Of course our motives in speaking aren’t to be negative but to set boundaries, determine limits, protect oneself from potential hurts and disappointments.  Speaking these statements seems harmless, simple and very natural.  It is very natural.  Equally natural is making those statements and learning later that you don’t know what you will do until you’re in that situation.

HA! Which leads to the question are you chasing your words?  Many people have made future decisions based on a past statement, a statement that really didn’t have merit because it lacked experience.  Yet the statement was made and to not honor one’s word would be detrimental right?  This may sound simplistic but you’d be surprise at the number of people who vacate marriages because they said they would never; the people who ended friendships because they said, they would never; (you get the picture).  Making current decisions from past statements just to save face is never good.  Older people will tell you all the time to “never say never” but we do, but to make another mistake by following through on something said in ignorance is no way to live.  Words have power which why one shouldn’t waste them.  Speak wisely.  Gain understanding.

The wise person understands, deciphers and adjust his or her words and decisions as new knowledge is acquired.  In other words, it’s okay to say one thing based on your knowledge and even perception at that time and it’s equally okay if not responsible to admin one’s thoughts based on better understanding or additional knowledge.  Simply stated if you have never change, altered your thoughts; maybe you have not challenged your mind and that alone is a scary thought.

Words matter, use them carefully, be mature enough to change them add to them, revisit your previous thoughts and correct them.  Too many people are doing things, holding fast to ideas, concepts and thoughts spoken from ignorance before he or she had experience to match the words that they were speaking.  Don’t make current decisions chasing words of your past without revisiting them.