CHANGE sharing my original acronym

Dr King

CHANGE AGENT

Correcting Habitual Actions to Nurture Great Expectations!

I wrote a post awhile back on this blog about being the “Queen of questions”.  Honestly, the things I do are things I am passionate about!  When I speak my thoughts, my ideas, I’m extremely powerful, passionate, convincing because it is my intent, my thought, my motive to never speak unless I’m sure; to not lead unless I’m led.  I say that, because even in business, my LLC is called the “Queen ‘B’ of doing Business Better”, and God speaks to me and through me in acronyms.  I told my husband that I will be known as the ‘Queen of acronyms’.   Acronyms are memorable and when they have a great meaning can live forever.  Today, we will talk about change.  I’m a writer and this acronym will be presented again in my moments of mediation devotional as well but as I’ve stated above, give you a different meaning and perspective.

The daughter of a philosopher, that’s what I call my Dad.  He wouldn’t describe himself that way, but that’s just one of the adjectives I would use for him.  My mother, is the encourager and again, one word of many to describe her!  As the daughter of that combination, I feel God speaks to me very colorful, memorable and passionately.  Neither of my parents were soft spoken nor unrememberable and neither am I.  Having said that, through the encounters of life, I’ve been blessed to be transparent, open and verbal about the things I learned, am learning and hope to gain.

CHANGE is just one of the many acronyms, you will hear from me if you follow any of my writings.  Whether it be a book, devotional, blog, business blog, moment of mediation, tweet or Facebook post; the goal is to challenge, inspire, encourage, provoke thought and initiate change.

Before I heard, the message my Pastor preached about being a Change Agent, I have been one.  I wasn’t always comfortable with that status because to initiate and encourage change means to be outspoken, standing out in the crowd, having all the attention on you, to take a chance, the risk of being outcast, the risk of trouble, being laughed at or embarrassed and yes, being rejected.  I notice that when I was younger, I was far less concerned with the latter parts of being a change agent, like ‘what people thought’.  It wasn’t until I got older and had some falls/tumbles in life, that the thought of people began to matter.  You know the kind of fall from which we feel we cannot recover?  Trying to live in the shadows didn’t work well for me for obvious reasons and even then, I was changing the ideas, thoughts and patterns of others from behind the scenes while they took credit for work and thoughts that were not their own.

CHANGE! So much must be shared, said, thought, discussed about this even without my acronym.  Do you know how many people seek change but do not want it?  Do you know how often this word is used, discussed and thrown around frivolously?  You can’t imagine the unrealistic expectations that accompany this word (I had some of my own about and for myself, personally)?  CHANGE is a gift, change is required to live.  Change is diverse in meaning depending on the viewer of it, change can be radical, subtly, variable and unmeasurable.  CHANGE!  Change is so diverse that politically that many of the same people voted for #45 that voted for President Obama both terms prior.  CHANGE!

As an agent of change, I’m a reflective person.  The end of the year me, beginning in the last quarter of the year (that’s the accountant in me) is spent reflecting on what has and has not being accomplished.  Going deeper, I review the people, issues, things around me that prohibited, contributed or distracted me from reaching goals, while accessing the time I have left in the year to really make a positive impact on the year to come.  REAL CHANGE, as real as it can get begins with knowing realistically, accepting and understanding where you are: in life, as it relates to your goals n dreams, with people, finances, your social circle and spiritually.  You cannot CHANGE or affect the future if you don’t understand the past!  Notice I said understand the past, that’s another topic, book, discussion for later (UNDERSTANDING IS EVERYTHING!).

Without reflection, one will continue to behave, respond, move, conduct business, engage with one another in the same manner he or she has done in the past.  It’s not until you are exposed that what you are doing could be ineffective or that your actions are producing the results you least desire; that one will even consider the notion of change.  I am ashamed of how many things I’ve endorsed, promoted, encouraged in my past that I now fully understand were not only ignorant but caused me some of my greatest disappointments in life!  Reflection of myself (not others, aka known as excuses and placing blame) allowed me to review my actions, correct behavioral patterns or should I say, identify behavioral patterns that weren’t conducive.  Some people reflect and find people to blame their shortcomings and downfalls; don’t get me wrong, your crowd matters but nothing can be the entire fault of another person, people can only do what you allow.  Reflection can and will reveal people that aren’t conducive for you and your future, but it again your future, your success is based on your actions! This acronym for change helps one examine just that, your actions and your patterns.

So, as I debut my original acronym for the word CHANGE, post 1 of many more to come; I hope it helps you to identify patterns, behaviors, ideas, concepts and things you can change to get the desired results you seek in 2018.

 

Queen of Questions

Queen of Acronyms

Queen “B” of doing Business Better

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CHOICES & CONSEQUENCES: the POWER OF YOUR WORDS!

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In an attempt to not be too preachy as it relates to my blog, but as a believer of the Word and a Minister of the Gospel; it’s hard not to refer to Word of God in certain situations.  The “D” Bible verse, (known to my students) says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue and he that loveth shall eat the fruit thereof” ~Proverbs 18:21.  The words we choose to speak are crucial!  Words are our thoughts; we believe our thoughts and our thoughts become our actions.

The choices made on how one describe his or herself, the words one speaks about his or herself as well as the words one speaks to others makes all the difference in the way you view and handle situations and circumstances.   It begins with our hearing the words we hear consistently develop our belief system.  If one hears negative things consistently he or she becomes a product of that environment.  He or she will speak to others and express him or herself in negative terms because it will become their normal.  It is the same way he or she will treat and deal with others unless he or she is successful exposed and accepts a better or different way to express his or herself.  Whatever a person’s normal is (be it negative or positive), based on what you have become accustomed to hearing, it is that sense of normalcy a person will seek from others.

The way one speaks is taught behavior that extends beyond the simple choice of words but registers in the mindset of the individual speaking.  The words become the way one thinks, perceives others and the way he or she processes everyday activity.  Have you ever known someone that no matter what or how something is said; can always see the bad?  That person seems to make everything black or white, wrong or right, for me or against me?  He or she is a product of their environment.  Words are soooooo vitally important.  The choice of words began by the way we teach our children and grows from there.  I know someone that I love dearly and that person can only speak, enjoy themselves if they are speaking about something in a negative fashion.  Sounds creepy huh?  It’s not.  For example, this person will only tell you things that they don’t like.  So if you suggest going here, their statement is; “I don’t like crowds.”  There is never an alternative suggestion offered and if you bring up something that they enjoy, they will agree and that’s that.  No additional comments on how much they like doing this or that; but if there is a negative story of any type, that person will share it until it cannot be shared anymore.

The decisions/choices one makes are based on the thoughts entertained.  People who tend to view things from a negative perspective have been taught to do so by either the repetitive hearing or the things that the individual encounters and in most cases a combination of both.  Often the two can reinforce one another. Hearing negative and having negative occur completes a negative picture of their life based on reality for that individual.  The thing is that picture of his or herself; is dismal and not completely true and a half truth is always a whole lie.  Good and bad things happen to everyone but when your perception is defined by the negativity one will always and often see his or herself through the eyes of being a victim, smaller than the problem, unable to overcome, and the forever underdog.

Although we cannot see words, we can see the affect that words have on one another as well as ourself.  It will limit or hinder that things and people one will expose his or herself; it stops the progress of growing making one stagnant and bitter.  Words build low self-esteem or they can promote great self-esteem.  Words fuel love or they can fuel hate.  Words are powerful and since everyone has a voice, has the ability to use them, we must be careful as to how  we use them.

  • Be slow to speak, especially when you are angry. Even when you don’t mean to, speaking harshly is always remembered.  While you can apologize, you’ll never be able to remove or erase what a person heard coming out of your mouth
  • Use your words sparingly. Less really is more at times.
  • Choose your words carefully. It’s important to mean what you say and say what you mean.
  • UNDERSTAND THE WORDS YOU USE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could speak all day on this point. People who attempt to use words that they do not understand often hurt and damage relationships beyond repair!  Take your time and understand what you are trying to say and communicate that effectively.  I know a kid whose lack of education makes him almost illiterate at times.  His ability to explain himself is sooo basic and his understanding even more basic.  Fear, hopefully embarrassment prevents him from learning and doing better.  However, all bad communications and relationships, he blames on others and his dad allows it because he doesn’t know how to help him communicate better.  That leads me to the next point….
  • ACCEPT Criticism and teaching so you can communicate effectively – There are times when the person who has the ability to help you, make not be the one you want but overlook that, get the help and move on!
  • Be angry but don’t destroy. EVERYBODY gets upset at some point, however words can either promote peaceful resolution or they can promote violent resolution.
  • WORDS ARE WEAPONS! Just as powerful as bullet and as lethal as a bomb, words in the wrong hands can destroy generations to come!
  • WORDS ARE THE ULTIMATE BOOMERANG – yep they come back to bite people all the time. The things one will speak to and about others can and will become his or her own reality.
  • Words are seeds that never stop reproducing and growing, plant good ones.

The choices you make with your words can have severe consequences.  Choose Wisely!

IN 2018…… IS 2018 YOUR YEAR?!

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BEFORE everyone begins their slogans of what to expect in 2018, let’s talk.  I’ve never been the person that enjoys being last minute, nor am I, the girl, who likes to just do what everyone else is doing just because.  I was raised to be a thinker, a planner, evaluator and a person of action and change.  I love a catchy phrase like everyone else but the practical part of me; the responsible portion of me hates to watch people be swayed thinking that the year will be magical because someone said it.  Better yet that somehow things will be greater than their preparation for it.  Let me be clear, God is going to do some amazing things in 2018 just like HE did in 2017, 2016, 2015, etc… “HE (God) is the same yesterday, today and forever more!”  Truth is God is like the church folks say, God is good, all the time, and all the time God is good!  The key is, where does your life stand?  What preparation have you completed or positioned for your life that should manifest in 2018?  Remember all seeds manifest, good, bad and even the ugly.

One of the wisest things (and there are several) that I have heard my Pastor, Bishop T.D. Jakes, say, is that the hardest part for a preacher is feeding God’s people.  The aggressive eaters grab everything and the passive miss too much so being able to give every member exactly what he or she needs is difficult.  That’s soooooooo true!  Thousands will attend what we in the church call, Watch Meet Service and there will be a lot of encouragement shared, good words going out and they are true.  However, the individual must be real about where he or she is in the midst of the good word!  Sometimes you’re at the beginning, sometimes in the middle and other times at the end of the process; then there are the times where that good word is seed for you, meaning you haven’t even began down the road.  Sometimes the things heard are new and fresh while others are ready for harvest; you are just now planting the seeds to begin a journey that they are completing and that’s okay, as long as you know where you are in the journey.

In 2018, you will receive the harvest for the seeds you’ve planted and cultivated.  Some seeds planted, you didn’t cultivate and as a result they died due to lack of attention. There are seeds planted you forgot about, didn’t mean to plant but they live on little to none attention and they will harvest in 2018, of course these are the seeds and the harvest you don’t want to receive.  Negative seeds grow fast like weeds and can kill the vegetation of a good seed.  Now I do not share this information say that all is lost, because it is not!  The year, 2018, can be great, but knowing what you planted in 2017, what requires uprooting and changing is the key.  You can never a great future without dealing with your past, otherwise it (the past) will come to haunt you every time.

  1. Evaluate the past, regroup and scoop! – Scoop up the seeds of weeds or negative things planted, fertilize the ground and plant new seeds
  2. The only to change the future is not just knowing the past but having a great understanding of the past! Once you understand the decisions you made and why you made them, then you can correct and grow from them.
  3. Cultivate the good seeds and starve the negative ones!
  4. No one said you had to wait for a new year to make changes, In 2018, use & live every day to its fullest. Use each day as a new beginning to accomplish your goals, feed your strengths, build relationships and starve weaknesses.
  5. Graze from the excitement of others but feed from within.
  6. Don’t compare your process, progress or success to others; even similar goals have different individuals with different backgrounds, strengths, weaknesses and challenges.  Comparing can take you back, set you back and make one abandon his or process.  Don’t do that!
  7. Make your own mistakes!  Everyone makes mistakes but the worse thing is to make mistakes based on the influence or advice of others.  You have to live with it and it wasn’t your decision.

This year of 2018, can the year of growth, change, and the best year of your life; but not because of a cliché but because of the work you do, the things you improve in and on, the difference you live by and the actions you take.

 

 

SOWING & REAPING, You can’t reap a Harvest in places U haven’t sown!

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Have you ever believed in something or someone and was later wrong?  Have you ever invested into people so much, gave so much and at the end of the relationship found out that there was nothing left for you?  Have you ever been wronged and felt the one who wronged you, got off?  Have you ever done the things you thought were right and felt that somehow you were still getting the short end of the stick?  Have you ever given your all to something and it didn’t give it back to you?  I’m sure many of us have experienced at least one of these questions.  You know where you have given your all, have done the things you felt were right and were wrong.  The worst part is that when you are doing something that you think is right, when do you find out it’s not?!

Okay, let’s put this in context. If you invested into a person or loved someone and did the things you thought would make them happy only to find out, it wasn’t enough or it wasn’t the right thing.  How would you feel?  I’ll tell you, mad, betrayed, upset, hurt, belittled and defeated; that’s just to name a few of the emotions.  Think of it like this, you cannot reap in places you haven’t sown. You cannot get a check from the Burger King Company if you are employed at McDonalds.  If you put more time in at work, then you can’t expect your family to be excited or just waiting on you at home.  Of course any man or woman who works to provide for his or her family would disagree and I get that point, to a degree…..however, where your time and energy goes so too shall your harvest.

Sowing and reaping is a principle!  It will stand the test of time, the test of people, the test of product.  It doesn’t matter what scenario you describe you can use the principle of sowing and reaping to determine where, how great and how valuable a harvest could become or not become.  It’s a principle and not a cliché .  The thing is most people tend to do things assuming, hoping and thinking that it will yield a certain return without testing along the way.

A thing can begin one way, and in the process of time, energy, change, seasons, growth, obstacles; the need and desires that were in the beginning have shifted.  If a person remains with the original plan for the sake of keeping the plan, all the work, the sowing will be in vain because what he or she hopes to reap will not be the same.  Let me give you an example.  Since we are using the terms, ‘sowing and reaping’, let’s use crops.  A farmer can begin or set out to plow the land for one crop and based on weather, climate, changes in the weather or seasons, realize that the original plan, while it was good at the time may require twerking.  Okay, first let me say this is a simplistic so don’t go too far and miss the point.  In the example, if the farmer had not cultivated or revisited his plan, meaning continued researching, continued watching weather reports, continued reviewing the plan;  he or she would have missed the signs that told him or her that the original plan should be aborted.

Relationships are the same way.  Two people begin in one manner but hopefully, prayerfully, both parties will grow.  Without revisiting with one another, without talking and making sure along the way that the needs of each partner are met, it is easy for one to outgrow the other person and separation enters.   It is possible to sow in a place for the right reason and still not reap the harvest one desired.  It’s possible to sow too long, too much, too often and then turn for help, comfort in a place that hasn’t been cultivated.  At that point, one could feel isolated and lonely.  However, expecting withdrawals from places where you have ceased to deposit is unrealistic.

What are you saying?  Simply in 2018, be mindful into the places where you sow!  Sowing is equivalent to planting.  Planting is to give people time, energy, space, attention, emotions, affection; when you give it all in one area in one place you cannot expect to look to another place to reap!

  • Parents we must have jobs to pay the bills, however the jobs do not have to have us all the time!
  • If you work, work while you are at work and stop allowing pressures and attempts to please and prove to others; make you take work home!
  • Learn to unwind, disengage from work on the way home so that when you get home you can sow into your family!
  • Sowing is continually for hours.  BALANCE!  Balance work and Balance Family.  Too often we balance family more than we do work but in the end, when the times are critical it is family we want.  Do not need help or comfort or expect a harvest in places you have neglected!  It will not be there and at that point you can blame no one.
  • Sow into yourself!  NO not buy yourself things, sow into you! Never lose the essence of who you are!  Sow value into you by what you say to yourself, how you see yourself.  Strengthen your strengths and starve your weaknesses.
  • EVALUATE! EVALUATE! EVALUATE!  We need to be scientists of our own lives!  Stop going through the motions, having the same arguments without reflecting on how, why and what causes them!  UUGh!  We quote “doing the same thing expecting different results is insanity” and yet we in our actions, we make no adjustments.  WHY? Because we tend to not evaluate what happened!  Usually, we remember how and why someone made us mad but fail to see how our language, tone, timing or any other emotions affected what or how the other person felt.  We tend to keep our same habits but want different results!  HELLO!  Habits aren’t principles!  They can change and habits will not stand the test of time, etc… because if a habit is killing us, we will and must change or stop it!

EVALUATE! THINK! REVISIT!

If you aren’t sowing the harvest you expect, go back and trace your seeds!

5 QUESTIONS THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER ANSWER AS A POTENTIAL EMPLOYEE & EMPLOYERS SHOULDN’T ASK

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Finding the right employees is really scary and tough.  I’ve worked with many small businesses as a consultant and more of them as an employee.  One of the things I’ve been able to do is understand the relationship, fears, concerns, ideas and thoughts from both sides of the coin which allows me to be an effective consultant.  Employers want to be protected.  Employees depending upon the position being filled are able to see, hear and gather sensitive information about the company specifically financial information, vendors that the employer uses, banking information and more.  The initial impression of a company can be tainted hearing certain sensitive information, not to mention that once an employee hears something he or she can and will discuss the company’s business not realizing that doing so places their job in jeopardy.
 
Employees are just as vulnerable but in a different way.  Accepting a position with a smaller company gives one access to information, some information you want, other information you may prefer to not know!  Hearing sensitive information can make one skeptical about the company and its ability to be their livelihood.
 
Bringing the two parties together isn’t easy and most employers are better at doing the business that makes them money than Human Resources and recruiting.  That fear will make employers do desperate things, ask the wrong questions to prevent turnovers which are costly to the company in terms of dollars as well as reputation.
            Here are 5 questions as an employer you shouldn’t ask and employees you shouldn’t answer.  

1) HOW OLD ARE YOU?  Most employers know better and will not ask the question directly but will subtly allude to age by asking questions like “when did you graduate from high school?”  The Age Discrimination Employment Act of 1967 protects workers over the age of 40.  Employers want quality but worry about age in this new world of technology and just how well older people can compete.  There are a multiplicity of ways that you can check skills without breaking the law.  Skills testing in the area of employment will help you as the employer evaluate just how productive the potential employee can be in the office.  As an Employee, advert the question, by saying something witty like “old enough to work for your company and young enough to get the job done.”  

2) DO YOU HAVE KIDS AND ARE YOU PLANNING TO?  A huge NO NO! Of course, the Employer is concerned about giving an employee time off for maternity leave.  The other assumption is that a person with children will want time off and is not able to keep regular hours.  Although this question is illegal, a recent study shows that over 75% of women (of course) interviewed are asked this question.  As an employer, it sends the wrong message.  It’s negative. Automatically, you’re thinking about what or how their life affects YOUR business.  Now while your business is the reason for the opportunity, it’s not a person’s whole life.  Employees spend more time at work than home but to ask this question is intrusive, rude and yes illegal. As an employer, the worse thing you can do is to not plan for an employee to have time off.  EVERYONE needs a break.  Always allow for PTO.  Not doing so is unrealistic pressure.  Whether a person has children or not, their hours of working is the same hours during which any personal business that they must conduct would take place.  Making an employee feel like his or her personal things don’t count is not a good feeling and an employee who feels worthless will not be a good employee for you and your company.  Also, PSA, EMPLOYERS, PARENTS ARE GREAT AT MULTI-TASKING, you cannot be a good one without it.  They tend to prioritize better, respond instead of react and are accustomed to making decisions quickly and under pressure.  These facts tend to work against the misconceptions employers have about hiring parents or potential parents.  EMPLOYEES OR POTENTIAL EMPLOYEES, never answer this question.  Just say something like, “that’s not an issue” (no explanation, no yes or no).
 
3) ARE YOU MARRIED?  Sometimes used as way to get to know you but at worse case, potential employees this question can be used to discriminate against your sexual orientation.  Employers, these line of questions leave you vulnerable to potential lawsuits.  Again the idea for employers is to determine one’s commitment to the job, but never answer this question.  It’s illegal and unnecessary.
 
4) WHAT COUNTRY ARE YOUR PARENTS FROM? Irrelevant and again very inappropriate. Fear is most likely the source of this question and this line of questioning can be very uncomfortable for both the interviewer and the interviewed.  In short, this serves no purpose at all.
 
5) WHAT WAS YOUR SALARY AT YOUR LAST JOB? In some states, this question isn’t legal.  Even if it is legal in your state, potential employees you gain nothing by answering that question.  Also, while it may not be illegal for them to ask, it is against the law for the potential employer to verify your answer.  As an Employer and Employee, educate yourself on salaries for positions according to experience.  Employers complain about quality employees and then refuse to pay employees what they are worth but always want the most for the least! NO! That’s a poor method of hiring and/or retaining quality employees that can build your business and take it to the next level.
 
Potential employees, instead of answering that question, ask the employer “what is the budget for this position?” Follow up question, “what is the level of expectation for this position?”  Follow up question, “what is the system for reviews and raises?”  Too often employees are degraded for focusing on salary but the employers do the same.  Many gain a sense of just how low they can pay and yet demand the greatest work from.  Again, this mindset works against ‘turnovers.’
 
Employers, Small Business Owners, should employ the assistance of professionals for their recruiting process.  It ensures that the company and its’ interests are protected and when done effectively, it allows for an excellent work environment for the employees as well.
 
Human Resources is by far one of the greatest resources for any business.  Fear of the unknown will prevent a company from growing to its full potential.  Outsource these services to professional companies.  Elite Expert Business Solutions is but one of those.
 

HOW ACCURATE IS YOUR VIEW OF YOU?

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The last blog, I wrote, discussed having a ‘good’ view of oneself.  The view of yourself is directly connected to your level of self-esteem or lack thereof.  While it is important to have a healthy mindset of who you are as a person, it is not good to have a ‘false’ sense of who you are.  In other words, you cannot rewrite the scenario of events to ensure you are always the victim, to imply that anything negative or bad that happens to you is beyond your control, actions or decisions.  We all know that to be impossible, yet it is amazing to me those that share that version of his or herself and the things that they have encountered in life.

I have been writing a book now for a few years.  The 1st version of that book, when I thought I was ready to edit the book, was ridiculous.  As I read the paragraphs, literally there was painful event upon painful event describing what people did to me and how they made me feel.  I recalled events, situations and problems accurately and somewhat vividly but in those situations, it was all about what happened to me.  Never did I have write about my series of bad choices that lead me to be in situations; bad judgment, running from the pains of life, loneliness and even a little despair.  In my review of my past, I found myself embarrassed.  I mean really some of my decisions were down right ignorant.  I couldn’t even really understand the decisions I made or why I made them.  Now let’s be clear, the things that I encountered were real, painful and abusive at the hands of others, however, it was my decision to be and even remain with and under their control.

The point?  Having an accurate view of oneself, means accepting your low times that are directly connected to your weaknesses, you know we all have them.  While it may be embarrassing and painful, in order to, really grow, the truth about who you are, what you have done and how you contributed to your “current situation” is crucial to changing and improving your NEXT Situation.

I am a huge advocate for people being honest and I dislike being around people or having people in my circle who do not care enough to be honest with me. I mention this because, to have an accurate picture of you means having a friend that you allow to “check” you per se. During my period of darkness, those in my circle, never cared for me enough to be honest with me, about me.  It was then I knew I had to change my circle and I did.  People can gain and even gleam from watching you be a failure.  It makes them feel good about their situation.

Having an accurate view of who you are isn’t all bad, nor all good or all victim; it is a combination of your strengths, weaknesses, hopes, ideas, and thoughts.  Once you know them, embrace them and walk in them accordingly, you become powerful beyond your greatest expectations.

Kimberly Davis

LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES, Cont’d How do U, handle Power? Influence?

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Leadership is a powerful thing.  Most people want the power it brings, the influence and the confidence that they think being a leader will give.  However, having a platform of leadership doesn’t change who you are.  It only amplifies the person you are already.  Your faults are magnified because now there are so many people watching, your strengths are magnified but at much smaller rate because now instead of being celebrated, people will tend to say, “you should know, you should do”; what was once impressive isn’t so impressive anymore.

Ahhh, leadership.  Power, Money, Control, Influence; they are all a part of the package deal known as leadership.  When one isn’t a leader, it’s easy to see, judge, predict and even determine how another one should handle his or her position.  Yet an opportunity to become or take a leadership role may prove to be a downfall of the one who spent years looking up to a coveted role.

Let’s be clear, no leader starts at the top or starts where he or she ends but there is a very different mindset of a leader regardless of whether he or she is viewed as a leader throughout the journey.  As I mentioned in the last blog, a real leader will always surface without regard to the level that he or she has the pleasure of serving.  So, if he or she is among the workers, he or she will still stand out.  The leadership is there and more importantly the mindset.

However, the journey to leadership isn’t easy nor without hits and turmoil, bumps and bruises and even some mistreatment.  A good leader will not misuse or abuse his power toward or on others once in control. The real test of leadership is the way one handles power, influence and responsibility.

The “wanna be” Leader- imitates the leader prior to him or her.  You can always tell them because they do and say things without even thinking about the implications or reasons for why things were said or done.  Basically, they mimic the actions of people that they perceive to be leaders and more specifically the actions that they like!  These people think leadership is all about control, dictating and fearing people into doing what they ask of them.  They never understood or even thought that people follow leadership and leaders because they are pure, of good report, fair, mature and honest.  You know these types always looking for a scandal because that’s how they think.

The “mad” leader – is the one using his or her position to revenge every injustice.  They watched things that they didn’t like or agree with, no matter how large or how small.  They made mental notes and so in their rise to leadership, they are still operating from the small mind of the follower.  They tend to be more corrective, more discipline and controlling even to the point of micromanaging their subordinates.  They have made it to leadership but still tend to major on the minor!  Like the mad hatter, riddles, rhymes, puzzles, you can’t see the big picture with them and neither can they.

The benefits leader – how will it benefit them!  They are more laid back, the department and/or people runs itself, there are issues that require addressing but they do so only when it benefits them.  Never mind the chaos, the frustration of trying to accomplish work in that environment, or the frustration of the employees/co-workers, it’s all about them and how they appear before and to others as the slime up the corporate ladder.

The Drunk with Power Leader – I think that’s the one, I’ve seen the most and experienced the most and not in a good way!  It’s like being black.  Before I shake hands, speak or begin to discuss myself, you know that I’m black.  My skin color announces me, so if I walked into the room and said “Good morning, I’m black”; people would think, and rightfully so, how ignorant is she?  It’s the same thing for a leader who has to announce and demonstrate their power on every level.  Micro-managing the employees day-to-day activities, ready to implement disciplinary measurements on everything at all times, paranoid about employees wasting time, taking things or projects being incomplete, accusing rather than asking and always ready to hire new people at the drop of the hat.  All signs of a person drunk with power.  You can own the company and be drunk in power.  The truth of the matter is if you know who you are, and understand your power or influence then there is no need to abuse the power.

Abuse is also misuse of power.  There is never a need for consistent threats, or tools to make one feel inferior when you are a leader in fact the leader should do quite the opposite.

Handling power is a sensitive thing and the ability to do so is priceless.  You can always tell a veteran or an elder of power by the way he or she will use it.  Whether they carry it like a torch ready to burn up an offender or if they know how to use the tool to build and inspire others; a leader is known by the people or victims that follow.

If you have been hurt before and you are a leader, then be mindful of the past.  First get help, a therapist that you can talk to about your hurt.  A leader should never feel or see his or herself as invincible but always remain open to get and receive help.   Everyone reports to someone.

Misuse of power is abuse of power and when you aren’t leader enough to get help, think about how many people you are willing to lead into hurt.

Kimberly Davis

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