Cinderella isn’t just a story and she isn’t just a Walt Disney Princess or Film.  It’s an effect, a mindset, a thought, a concept, an idea that many young girls and even women have.  No one wants to admit it.  No one wants to say it out loud but in the thoughts,hearts and minds of so many women is that idea to be there very own Cinderella.

Cinderella has a happy ending and when the story ends the last words you hear:  She lived happily ever after.  Do you know how many women want that?!  ALL OF THEM!  Now the ideas or thoughts about what it means to be happily ever after vary from woman to woman and situation to situation but the concept is very much desired.  The problem with the Cinderella affect is that yes it is unrealistic but not for the reasons one may think.  It is very much possible to live happily ever after with the person you love.  However the story Cinderella leads one to believe Cinderella did nothing but marry a rich prince so to be happy means to marry rich and someone will sweep you off your feet and take care of you.  There are a few things to note here, let’s explore:

1) Cinderella’s situation wasn’t a self-inflicted one.  She has little to no control over her life.  She was locked and bound in a room physically after her father’s death.  Most women aren’t treated this way.  The boundaries and limitations one experiences are usually self-inflicted meaning bad choices=consequences.  We bind ourselves mentally, emotionally, physically and financially and then when we are tired of our choices, we look hope for someone to rescue us.  Well Cinderella had a fairy God-Mother, today you can be that to yourself by removing the boundaries and limitations.

2) Rescue.  Ummm what about when the rescue means rescuing one from herself.  Limited thinking is birth from limited exposure, limited thoughts, ideas and/or concepts.  There was a period in my life when I was totally removed from my upbringing (my own choices of course).  I am so gratefully that I was.  Although I experienced some of the darkness hours I was also exposed to things that pushed the boundaries I knew.  You cannot experience pain and not gather experience, knowledge.  It’s one’s ability to apply the knowledge to use the exposure that makes all the difference in the world!    No matter how someone loves you, he or she will never be able to deliver you, rescue from yourself.  You will have to want, know, and desire change in some capacity and at the same time be open to things you have never known before.

3) It takes TWO:  Men are wonderful, powerful and they are meant to protect us.  At the same time, no one person alone can make or break a relationship.  It was never intended to be that way.  God, HIMSELF said it isn’t good for man to be alone – all one.  Meaning that in him was everything without him (man) ever having to connect to another one so to be sure there would be a connection, HE (God) pulled man’s help meet from within him (man).   A healthy relationship has two people in it.  No one is doing all the work, all the rescuing.  It’s more like the last scene in the movie, “Pretty Woman.”  After Richard Geer rescues Julia Roberts he says, now what, she replies, “She rescues him right back.”  Meaning he needed her just as much as she needed him.  Rescuing is really a give and take thing.  He doesn’t save you from thinking, doing, or functioning.  You must engage, grow and have confidence within.  NO man can give you that.

4) Money isn’t everything and it doesn’t solve anything.  The handling of money in any relationship is a reflection of that relationship.  Too many times a woman feels if she doesn’t have money as an issue, life is perfect and that’s simply not the case.  There are reality TV shows that rake in millions proving that money doesn’t equal happiness or joy but perpetuates more problems and issues within the more you have of it.

Cinderella is a beautiful fairy tale but it’s just that a story.  Happy endings are possible but they only occur when you are willing to invest into your own story!  There is no such ending where one isn’t required to invest, engage into his or her life.  Create your happy ending.