It’s not uncommon.  I used to think it was abnormal but it happens more often than one knows.  Although common it is never simple but a complex turn of events whose affects are immeasurable.  At the same time, church hurt in many ways is no different than any other hurt.  Don’t stop reading.  Hurt is hurt and the only way one can be hurt is that the pain is afflicted by people that one expected to NOT hurt them.  That’s what makes hurt, well hurt!

Church hurt is viewed in a lot of ways but never ‘regular.’   Many are those who have left the church (which we will discuss later in another post) because of hurts that have occurred by church leaders, members or both.   The hurts that occur could range from simple lies to confusion over offerings, to sexual abuse and a million other things in between.  It’s hard to deal with, understand and even accept.  Church is a common place where everyone is welcomed but expectations of behavior are extremely high!  I would never tell anyone that the expectations of church leaders and members should be lower but I would tell them that our expectations should be realistic.

What makes church hurt so devastating are the expectations not only of the leadership but from the leadership.  Church finds people or receives them in some of their most vulnerable times in their life.  Additionally, people tend to share more in church and to church leaders often allowing them to see, hear and view things that are hidden from others.  In all honesty that’s what church is for.  The ministry should “meet the needs” of those it serves within reason.  Historically there was a time when culturally the church played a vital role in multiple areas of life.  It was the meeting place for social & racial justice, provided social opportunities for people to gather and still managed to remain a Spiritual place of worship and faith.

Things have definitely changed and change is always good.  While some churches do engage in social & racial reform; some focus on providing community needs to the poor others focus more on spiritual growth; either way every church is unique in what it offers to the congregation.  The expectations of confidentiality and trust in those who lead have not changed.  Too often those expectations extend into areas where it should not.  The presence of good leadership is never a substitute for any person to stop thinking, planning, and having his or her own mindset as well as an understanding about God for his or herself.  The leadership serves as a guide to teach, instruct and inspire; it is never to become the sole voice for all decision making or even acting as a moral compass.

I wish all church hurt fell into one category but it doesn’t.  Different levels, different hurts so we’ll explore them in more detail.  A leader is anointed enough to lead and flawed enough to not be worshipped!  Remembering that detail about leadership is EXTREMELY crucial.

NEXT: LEADERSHIP CHRONICLES CHURCH HURT: REALISTIC AND UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS