Who’s to blame for church hurt?  Who’s responsible for a church member getting hurt?  Whose responsibility is it to make sure that doesn’t happen?  Why have so many been hurt?  Articles upon articles are being written as to why people are falling away from traditional churches and the many reasons behind it.  From calling the men of the cloth frauds, checking their bank accounts and so forth to comparing them to ‘pimps.’  The themes, reasons and excuses are endless.

Expectations from the church range from very little to the unrealistic.  As a people we love heroes.  Everyone does whether they admit it or not.  Additionally believing and walking in the calling of a Minister, Pastor, Evangelist, Teacher or Prophet in the body of Christ will afford one to witness the amazing and The Supernatural.  Far too often the humanity in us wants to lay hold on the supernatural as a way of living, a lifestyle of entitlement to things others do not have access.  The supernatural encounters of and with God were never meant to become coveted more than the God who empowers us to experience them.

The church is a magnetic for hurting people as it should be.  However the expectations from a hurting person often begin small and grow greater.  There is nothing wrong with expectations.  Without expectations from or of people one will accept any and everything which is never good!  One of the major problems lie in from whom one has the expectations, remember the leaders of God are anointed enough to minister but human enough to not be worshipped.   However there are times in effort to appreciate those who speak life into one while that one really wants to die or give up; that the lines can become cross, vision blurred and the leader who was once a nice person becomes more than human of the eyes of those who follow.  At that moment the expectations increase and can even become unrealistic.

On the other end of the spectrum, take a leader who has helped people, has been influential in providing wisdom and knowledge under the direct voice of God and finds his or herself in a peculiar place.  Everyone wants to be appreciated and the man or woman of God is no different.  It’s not just about the work that he or she as a servant has done but also the sacrifices that his family has suffered through to help others.  Because the leader doesn’t walk in a constant of state of holiness and he or she is human and flawed can and often experiences guilt, the need to understand everything, even responsibility when he or she watches members hurt.  Much like being a parent the majority of leaders want to see everyone succeed but there are no guarantees.  Like children members have different personalities, opinions, thoughts, ideas and because they are not children, members have choices.  It’s hard to lose members and in the church world a Pastor is defined by his or her membership.  Membership is a grade of how well the pastor does what he or she is called to do or so it would seem to the world as well as other churches and some pastors.

Not to mention that there are times when God does things or allows things to happen for which there is no explanation and it can be easy for a leader to feel responsible or worry about whether the painful event will drive or draw the member.

Two very different perspectives, equal fears, concerns and thoughts are on both ends of the spectrum between the leader and the members.   Each with his or her own fears, insecurities, growth and learning curves; both parties need one another to fulfill his or her destiny.  Leaders in any area are expected to be in a sense ‘perfect’ or to appear that way.  I think as much as members hate to admit it, no one wants to think of their leader as being flawed but as people but they are.  God doesn’t use or call perfect people because they do not exist.  HE calls and uses people in spite of their weaknesses and flaws.  To expect more is Unrealistic.