Respect.  There are songs written about it, it’s talked about, it’s discussed everybody wants it and those who want it, always feel that they have earned it.  Respect is earned never demanded.  It’s funny how people never stop demanding it though.  You can demand respect but it doesn’t work.  It can only be given.  You’ll find yourself fussing, screaming and begging, all things that work against gaining the very thing you desire.  I recently wrote a blog about respect using the vein of the song “Respect” by Aretha Franklin.  Find out what it means to me.  And while respect is different to different people, there is a thread of commonness or at least there has been in previous generations.  One of the things leaving quickly in the new era of technology babies is the theme, concept, and idea of “respect.”

Respect does mean different things to different people at different times for diverse reasons.  Addressing one as Ms. or Mr. is critical at certain times while other times not so much.   For an older generation the absence of a Mr. or Mrs. could easily be deemed as a lack of general respect and for a younger generation not so much.  With diverse requirements and a younger generation where respect is fleeting at best, an expressed common thread is necessary and critical.

• General Respect for Authority Figures – You may not like an individual’s personality, tone of voice, the way he or she leads but respect should always be given for those in leadership. From the President to local authorities, and parents; general respect is required and not asking for too much.  Whether it be addressing them by their title or with a Sir or Madam, and a limit on the things said to them as well as the manner of speaking to them are just a few methods of giving respect where it is due.  All adults are due respect even those who aren’t related to you.
• Communicate Respectfully to and with others – Communication in general is a lost art for the younger generation particularly with the younger generation. Texting n Twitter have taken abbreviations to a new level and a new language and not necessarily a good levels of communication.  However respectful communication has common basic threads.  Good Morning, Hello, Thank You, You’re Welcome, No problem, Yes, No, Yes sir, No sir, Excuse me, Pardon me, May I and I appreciate that; just to name a few.   Never use or attempt to use “implied” meanings in effective communication.  If you are happy, say it, upset, express it.  Assuming that people know how you feel or that you have been understood leads to misunderstandings.
• Greetings, Salutations – speaking upon entering a room in the house and outside of the house both general threads of respect. I’m too amazed and frustrated by the adults in the workforce who do not realize that speaking to someone is a sign of respect.  For most of us, speaking is important; in the Black Culture it is unheard of to even think about talking to anyone before speaking to them.  Our parents would quickly say, “I didn’t sleep with you last night.”  A phrase that means without speaking to them there could be no conversation.  In the workforce that encompasses a multiplicity of cultures, the common thread of talking to someone seems to be loss.  Co-workers talk or attempt to discuss work without even speaking to you in the morning.  Children ask for money but will not even speak when entering the room.  The list goes on and on.  We must reteach, rethink this thing called respect.
• Respect for the Opinion of Others – Opinions are like sooooooooo many things everyone has one well really several. They vary on every level.  From religion to politics and everything in between, opinions are now more available than ever with social media platforms, however as people we must continue to respect one another’s opinion.  Respecting the opinion of others allows us to grow as people.  In fact, you would be surprised at how much you can gain, learn and grow from hearing the opinions of others.  Respect doesn’t imply to agree with or submit to another’s opinion.  It means agreeing to disagree.
• General Respect for Humanity – There are culture differences.  Some of those cultural differences result in assumptions, stereotypes that cause or result of generations of pain and painful activities being passed down.  As a Black woman raising Black Men in America, I’m clear that the Black Lives Matter Movement is a well needed and that civil rights are violated every day in America against Black people at a proportional higher rate than any other citizen.  Having stated that fact, it does not eliminate my respect for the issues/crisis that other citizens face.  To be “pro” one movement doesn’t mean or equal being “anti” other movements or citizens.  I am continually disappointed in those who ignore the hurting of others or belittle the pain of others.

Respect is earned and not demanded.  If you want it, give it.  If you expect it, act like it and treat others the same.  Be what you want and expect from others, it’s common sense and Respect is a common thread.

 

Kimberly Davis