One of the greatest weapons you can use on someone else is a mirror.  People are forever and endlessly aware of the ups and downs, the trials & errors of others, however, if you really want to get even with someone, point the mirror at them.

I’m very opinionated!  Yep! I own that.  However, my opinions and thoughts begin with me!  They do not end there, however, I tend to view or have empathy, another thought process, a sense of hope for people from my perspectives of myself.  Each of us is more than one person!  It’s true!  Think about it, when people try to describe you, you will find yourself saying, yea….but I can be like this and then I have moods like that…etc…  We are more than one person.  No one person is the same way all the time, we would love to be, but we simply are not.  Most people, especially those close to me know me as the fun-loving, quick wit person with a million snappy comebacks!  My mind moves fast and my mouth faster; so while others are gathering their thoughts, I’ve said what I was thinking and have moved on.  Whether it is a sarcastic tone from a salesperson to intellectually putting someone in their place that has become too familiar with me; it’s what I do.  I have opinions, ideas and thoughts about everything!  It’s a part of who I am as a person.   I’ve never run from conflict and people seem to think I enjoy it.  I do not enjoy conflict, but I prefer confronting things rather than lying and ignoring them like most people do.  To me, that doesn’t do anyone any good.  People walk away thinking you really care and that you understand them when in fact, you are talking about them behind their back and laughing at their misery.

I’m passionate about that, because that was my life for a period in my life.  Although within, I was still opinionated; I had not learned how to voice my thoughts without offending others or in a tone that wasn’t drawing a reaction but rather one that would get or gain a response that could lead to understanding.  Basically, I knew one way.  I had people around me and those people seem to enjoy watching me in pain.  Instead of being honest with me, or guiding me down the trail of doing things better for different results; they literally watched my pain and seem to enjoy it.  Maybe they didn’t want to debate with me about how I acted or thought she wouldn’t listen to me anyway, never-the-less, I would have preferred them to try.  So I aimed the weapon of the mirror on me, after my Daddy, the greatest man in the world, gave me some sound advice.  I had hit a real low spot and found myself in jail for a sentence of 45 days.  I didn’t have to do the entire 45 days but the 7-10, that I did, were enough for me to know I needed to do things better.  I was angry and in those times of not speaking to others, I learned sooo much!  In fact, I think that time was powerful for me to me to come back to myself!  Upon my departure from jail, my dad told me; “You can be angry and set out to get even with everyone that you felt did you wrong or you can accept where you are and what you have done and move forward.  You cannot do both at the same time.  If you choose the first option, I guarantee you will be right back in jail.”   I will admit it didn’t make sense at first and a part of me felt as though I was ‘punking’ out of being myself, but the more that played in my mind, the more it made sense.  So I committed suicide!  I turned the mirror of truth to myself and pointed it to my head and it was the beginning of the ending of the “Kim” who listened and needed others.  Yes I began to kill myself slowly!

Real change isn’t a makeover!  It doesn’t occur outwardly, it begins inside out and when it is complete you begin to look different to others; not in a physical sense but in a sense of being emotionally and mentally sound.  Your dependence on others shifts and your happiness and your destiny is in the right hands, yours and God!  It doesn’t matter with whom you are connected, there is a role that you are created to play all on your own!  Now that role may give you a partner but that partner is not a replacement or meant to become a handicap or in some cases an idol for you.

As I grew inwardly, my choices began to change and the empowering of one’s self is one of the most beautiful things ever!  Literally, the way you view the world and the problems therein will change!  Everything wasn’t larger than myself any longer, I was large and in charge and while I didn’t gain a superhuman mind, I learned to handle obstacles, challenges and situations diplomatically and one situation at a time!  I never stopped being me, I became a better version of the me, I was intended to be!

I’ve been in the presence of many people that complain about the world, how things run and what they don’t like and wouldn’t it be great if things were like this or that…. My response, my thought process is now, get understanding about how and why things are and then change your view on them.  We tend to allow things and people control us that we were meant to control.  I cannot change everyone!  I can’t stop racism but I can respond to it effectively, efficiently and in a manner to be an agent of change!  I can’t stop liars but I can control my presence around them.  I can’t wipe out negativity but I don’t have to engage in it!

The weapon of the mirror is the deadly.  I’m so glad I turned it on me!  Now I’m still opinionated but my mindset and opinions are wider, broader and more global.  I don’t run from conflict but I’m able to communicate more effectively, still passionate but I also when things are a lost cause and to let them go.  I’ve learned that not everyone, every person is worthy of me addressing them.  Some people are a waste of time and energy, so you cease to engage with them.

CHANGE –Correcting Habitual Actions to Nurture Great Expectations occurs more effectively when you have the weapon of a mirror close by!

Until we blog again……………………………………………………..