THE SHAME OF BEING ‘BLACK IN AMERICA’

THANK GOD, THE BLOOD, is speaking for us!

The t-shirts are spreading quickly, and I have even purchased one that says; “My skin color isn’t a crime.” It was something that I never really gave much thought until now.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I didn’t know my skin color was a problem, but I never considered that policeman and White America considered it a crime.

I cannot reiterate enough that while it appears that George Floyd’s death maybe a beginning to an evolution; it is NOT the first time we’ve witness, felt fear, or have died at the hands of police in AmeriKKKa.  This has become a way of life for us, as Black Citizens. Even if we survive, we have all experienced or feared the experience of being pulled over by police.

Racism is so indoctrinated in America, that both black and white citizens have learned to hide, ignore or become immune to it.  I can speak for me, sometimes, I’m exhausted in discussing my everyday encounters with racism.  There are times that my experiences shared out loud have proven to be embarrassing to me.  Allow me to explain.

Racism is prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against a person or people, on the basis, of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.  We can define it although it can become more difficult to prove or demonstrate it in everyday life.  As Black Americans, we feel it!  Racism lies in the tone in which people that practice racism speak to us, about us or even at us.  We sense it in the subtle context of addressing us properly in a crowded room.  The message of ‘less than’ is loud and clear when our educational credentials are questioned, career advancement questioned and undervalued or when my ability to communicate effectively makes people raise their eyebrows in surprise rather than respect.  It is demonstrated when people without the same experience or knowledge climb that Corporate ladder quickly while people of color work diligently consistently proving his or herself and still being overlooked and ignored.  It can be seen in the workplace as Black Americans are offered considerably lower wages for the same positions with the same credentials.  We definitely see it when the same actions land Black and White People different punishments consistently!

As the events following the tragic (but very common occurrence in the black community), death of George Floyd surface, conversations with citizens contributed to this commentary.  I spoke with quite a few black citizens that have had their own personal experiences of racism and violence.  So many were silenced about their pain, because in reality, ‘what could or would be done?’  We’ve learned to find ways to manage, smother out our pain and keep it moving and while that appears to work, it really doesn’t.  However, what do we do?  There are many Black Americans that are finally living to some degree the American Dream, protesting, speaking up, does what to the careers and lifestyles that have worked so hard to achieve?  It is hard to hear but truth be told many Black Americans want what so many White Americans want; and that is for everyone to blend in and to not discuss race or racism.  We want the dream described vibrantly by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  It would seem achieving that dream is foolish and ignorant.  However, I cannot say that I have not wanted, wished or even desired the same thing!

I wrestle with the issue of racism all the time!  I am militant by birth! I was born the day after the assassination of Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. in 1968. I tell people that I think I entered the world with my fist up ready to fight the fight!  Truthfully, my parents prepared me for the world by educating me on my roots, building pride in being a Black Woman AND ALL THAT INCLUDED; however providing me with the tools to succeed in mainstream America; a simple common European name, education, proper English and the ability to think!  All the preparation didn’t remove or exempt me from dealing with racism on a daily basis. Whether it was questioning my thought process or second guessing my education and the ability to perform in the workplace to DWB (driving while black), being overlooked or undervalued as a consumer, and/or being the first accused of something improper; I have felt it and handled it.  When the world isn’t talking about a video of a Black Man dying, I still encounter racism, it’s attitudes, judgments and fears. What do I do?  If you think for one minute, I want to see racism in everything, think again!  However, when it is in your face daily because people of power operate in their bias against whom I am perceived to be, I cannot deny what I see, feel or experience.

Black and White People alike grow tired of hearing it or about the daily situations and there lies the shame. IF for a day, a week or a month, an experiment could be conducted where a group of White People experienced the lifestyle, we live, as Black People in America; conversations would happen; and the shame would be felt!  We are always told or reminded how great America is; a country that achieved its status of wealth, on the free labor of my ancestors for four hundred years. White People waive those statements around as if we are ungrateful!  It’s so disrespectful and rude!

How can I be proud of a country I built, served and fought for when that country treats me and my descendants like second-class citizens regardless of education, status of wealth, status in the community or even status of position? In a country where the minimum isn’t enough, we are always told to settle, wait, just be satisfied with what you have and where you are.  We are tired of that!  The more we settle the more we are all suffocating! We are divided. We tend to move separately hoping to be judged or viewed in that manner, but regardless of our actions when something goes wrong, the treatment we encountered leaves us to feel like White AmeriKKKa’s view of a “Black Person.”  Those biases are wrong, ignorant and based on poor media portrayal and lies, but a lie can and will have the same effect as the truth when it is believed.  Amerikkka has believed the lies.  White privilege allows her (Amerikkka) to do so.  White America has in no way found the need and they work diligently to NOT learn or deal with Black America if they can!  As a Black American, to survive and hopefully thrive, I must know how White Amerikkka thinks, how she moves so that I can be two or three steps ahead.

For White Amerikkka, it is never the acceptable time to discuss race or racism!  It is an embarrassment in our history, it is a piece of time we would like to ignore and just move forward.  I hate seeing our Black Men executed in the streets; but thank God for their blood which will not allow us to pretend that things have changed, gotten better or racism is a thing of the past! The blood of generations is crying!  We must answer!  We can no longer be ashamed to discuss what they wish we would ignore.