I was sitting in a class, taught by Minister Catherine Merritt now (Catherine Cobbins) when the concept was first introduced to me.  She was teaching on the subject “Balance, the key to my sanity”.  Catherine was then a single mother of five children; four of the five children are girls.  She was the first to church on most Sundays because she was an intercessor.  She was always calm, collected and even-tempered so when she began teaching this class, I listened.  It was one of the few times I can remember being intrigued and challenged by a topic.  I served as the Christian Education Director and I couldn’t imagine what she would share in this class but I’m soooo glad I listened because the lessons, she taught ringer in my ear on a daily basis.

The idea was simple, the concept basic, the cost of the class $0; but the value of the lesson PRICELESS!  One of her 7 keys in Balance was a one-word, sentence, NO!  I remember looking at the syllabus thinking what in the world?!  When she began to teach on that key, she explained to us that “NO” is a complete sentence.  It is a final answer that requires no explanation.  If we wanted to find balance in our lives, we had to learn to use that word in that context as a one-word sentence.  You cannot say yes to any and every one and maintain balance.  You cannot be everything to everyone and have balance; you cannot make everything a priority and find or achieve balance.  Balance requires saying “NO” to some things and some people without feeling obligated to explain!

I know simple right?  However, in my life that had not been easy for me.  Now I have been told “NO” quite often and I remember feeling so rejected because those people were able to say “NO” without regard for my feelings and most accomplished it without an explanation but as for me, it was hard for me to even think about saying “NO” to people and when I did, I often felt the need to explain and in most cases could be talked into changing my “NO” into a yes.

Hearing her speak was soooooo liberating.  Now I unapologetically, say “NO”.  That class was life altering for me.   I’ve not only learned how to say the word in a verbal sense, I’ve also learned how to use it and not say it.

Technology is great but it is and can be a time waster.  I love having my phone when I’m in groups where people have poor communication skills and lack the ability to interact.  I use it then as a time waster and to resist the urge to mean mug everyone I’m around.  However, as it relates to my phone and handling business, I’ve learned to exercise my “NO” by not answering.  How many times are you interrupted from important things to hear things that could wait?  How often are you ceasing communication from or with your family to pick up a call? How often is your sleep interrupted by a call that really could have waited?  Another form of “NO” is being unplugged and in that sense, I only answer the phone when I’m able to speak with an individual.  If I am not able to speak with them, then that call must wait.  In that manner, I’m achieving a balance and giving both all parties quality time, myself included.

The word, “NO” is a beautiful word used appropriately.  It requires no explanation and explanations should be disbursed sparingly and only from necessity.

Explore the ability to say, “NO”.  I think in the end, you’ll love the results.  Shout out to Catherine Merritt Cobbins for her wisdom and introducing me and now you, the world of “NO” and all it can offer!