CHANGE sharing my original acronym

Dr King

CHANGE AGENT

Correcting Habitual Actions to Nurture Great Expectations!

I wrote a post awhile back on this blog about being the “Queen of questions”.  Honestly, the things I do are things I am passionate about!  When I speak my thoughts, my ideas, I’m extremely powerful, passionate, convincing because it is my intent, my thought, my motive to never speak unless I’m sure; to not lead unless I’m led.  I say that, because even in business, my LLC is called the “Queen ‘B’ of doing Business Better”, and God speaks to me and through me in acronyms.  I told my husband that I will be known as the ‘Queen of acronyms’.   Acronyms are memorable and when they have a great meaning can live forever.  Today, we will talk about change.  I’m a writer and this acronym will be presented again in my moments of mediation devotional as well but as I’ve stated above, give you a different meaning and perspective.

The daughter of a philosopher, that’s what I call my Dad.  He wouldn’t describe himself that way, but that’s just one of the adjectives I would use for him.  My mother, is the encourager and again, one word of many to describe her!  As the daughter of that combination, I feel God speaks to me very colorful, memorable and passionately.  Neither of my parents were soft spoken nor unrememberable and neither am I.  Having said that, through the encounters of life, I’ve been blessed to be transparent, open and verbal about the things I learned, am learning and hope to gain.

CHANGE is just one of the many acronyms, you will hear from me if you follow any of my writings.  Whether it be a book, devotional, blog, business blog, moment of mediation, tweet or Facebook post; the goal is to challenge, inspire, encourage, provoke thought and initiate change.

Before I heard, the message my Pastor preached about being a Change Agent, I have been one.  I wasn’t always comfortable with that status because to initiate and encourage change means to be outspoken, standing out in the crowd, having all the attention on you, to take a chance, the risk of being outcast, the risk of trouble, being laughed at or embarrassed and yes, being rejected.  I notice that when I was younger, I was far less concerned with the latter parts of being a change agent, like ‘what people thought’.  It wasn’t until I got older and had some falls/tumbles in life, that the thought of people began to matter.  You know the kind of fall from which we feel we cannot recover?  Trying to live in the shadows didn’t work well for me for obvious reasons and even then, I was changing the ideas, thoughts and patterns of others from behind the scenes while they took credit for work and thoughts that were not their own.

CHANGE! So much must be shared, said, thought, discussed about this even without my acronym.  Do you know how many people seek change but do not want it?  Do you know how often this word is used, discussed and thrown around frivolously?  You can’t imagine the unrealistic expectations that accompany this word (I had some of my own about and for myself, personally)?  CHANGE is a gift, change is required to live.  Change is diverse in meaning depending on the viewer of it, change can be radical, subtly, variable and unmeasurable.  CHANGE!  Change is so diverse that politically that many of the same people voted for #45 that voted for President Obama both terms prior.  CHANGE!

As an agent of change, I’m a reflective person.  The end of the year me, beginning in the last quarter of the year (that’s the accountant in me) is spent reflecting on what has and has not being accomplished.  Going deeper, I review the people, issues, things around me that prohibited, contributed or distracted me from reaching goals, while accessing the time I have left in the year to really make a positive impact on the year to come.  REAL CHANGE, as real as it can get begins with knowing realistically, accepting and understanding where you are: in life, as it relates to your goals n dreams, with people, finances, your social circle and spiritually.  You cannot CHANGE or affect the future if you don’t understand the past!  Notice I said understand the past, that’s another topic, book, discussion for later (UNDERSTANDING IS EVERYTHING!).

Without reflection, one will continue to behave, respond, move, conduct business, engage with one another in the same manner he or she has done in the past.  It’s not until you are exposed that what you are doing could be ineffective or that your actions are producing the results you least desire; that one will even consider the notion of change.  I am ashamed of how many things I’ve endorsed, promoted, encouraged in my past that I now fully understand were not only ignorant but caused me some of my greatest disappointments in life!  Reflection of myself (not others, aka known as excuses and placing blame) allowed me to review my actions, correct behavioral patterns or should I say, identify behavioral patterns that weren’t conducive.  Some people reflect and find people to blame their shortcomings and downfalls; don’t get me wrong, your crowd matters but nothing can be the entire fault of another person, people can only do what you allow.  Reflection can and will reveal people that aren’t conducive for you and your future, but it again your future, your success is based on your actions! This acronym for change helps one examine just that, your actions and your patterns.

So, as I debut my original acronym for the word CHANGE, post 1 of many more to come; I hope it helps you to identify patterns, behaviors, ideas, concepts and things you can change to get the desired results you seek in 2018.

 

Queen of Questions

Queen of Acronyms

Queen “B” of doing Business Better

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CHOICES & CONSEQUENCES: the POWER OF YOUR WORDS!

Words 2

In an attempt to not be too preachy as it relates to my blog, but as a believer of the Word and a Minister of the Gospel; it’s hard not to refer to Word of God in certain situations.  The “D” Bible verse, (known to my students) says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue and he that loveth shall eat the fruit thereof” ~Proverbs 18:21.  The words we choose to speak are crucial!  Words are our thoughts; we believe our thoughts and our thoughts become our actions.

The choices made on how one describe his or herself, the words one speaks about his or herself as well as the words one speaks to others makes all the difference in the way you view and handle situations and circumstances.   It begins with our hearing the words we hear consistently develop our belief system.  If one hears negative things consistently he or she becomes a product of that environment.  He or she will speak to others and express him or herself in negative terms because it will become their normal.  It is the same way he or she will treat and deal with others unless he or she is successful exposed and accepts a better or different way to express his or herself.  Whatever a person’s normal is (be it negative or positive), based on what you have become accustomed to hearing, it is that sense of normalcy a person will seek from others.

The way one speaks is taught behavior that extends beyond the simple choice of words but registers in the mindset of the individual speaking.  The words become the way one thinks, perceives others and the way he or she processes everyday activity.  Have you ever known someone that no matter what or how something is said; can always see the bad?  That person seems to make everything black or white, wrong or right, for me or against me?  He or she is a product of their environment.  Words are soooooo vitally important.  The choice of words began by the way we teach our children and grows from there.  I know someone that I love dearly and that person can only speak, enjoy themselves if they are speaking about something in a negative fashion.  Sounds creepy huh?  It’s not.  For example, this person will only tell you things that they don’t like.  So if you suggest going here, their statement is; “I don’t like crowds.”  There is never an alternative suggestion offered and if you bring up something that they enjoy, they will agree and that’s that.  No additional comments on how much they like doing this or that; but if there is a negative story of any type, that person will share it until it cannot be shared anymore.

The decisions/choices one makes are based on the thoughts entertained.  People who tend to view things from a negative perspective have been taught to do so by either the repetitive hearing or the things that the individual encounters and in most cases a combination of both.  Often the two can reinforce one another. Hearing negative and having negative occur completes a negative picture of their life based on reality for that individual.  The thing is that picture of his or herself; is dismal and not completely true and a half truth is always a whole lie.  Good and bad things happen to everyone but when your perception is defined by the negativity one will always and often see his or herself through the eyes of being a victim, smaller than the problem, unable to overcome, and the forever underdog.

Although we cannot see words, we can see the affect that words have on one another as well as ourself.  It will limit or hinder that things and people one will expose his or herself; it stops the progress of growing making one stagnant and bitter.  Words build low self-esteem or they can promote great self-esteem.  Words fuel love or they can fuel hate.  Words are powerful and since everyone has a voice, has the ability to use them, we must be careful as to how  we use them.

  • Be slow to speak, especially when you are angry. Even when you don’t mean to, speaking harshly is always remembered.  While you can apologize, you’ll never be able to remove or erase what a person heard coming out of your mouth
  • Use your words sparingly. Less really is more at times.
  • Choose your words carefully. It’s important to mean what you say and say what you mean.
  • UNDERSTAND THE WORDS YOU USE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could speak all day on this point. People who attempt to use words that they do not understand often hurt and damage relationships beyond repair!  Take your time and understand what you are trying to say and communicate that effectively.  I know a kid whose lack of education makes him almost illiterate at times.  His ability to explain himself is sooo basic and his understanding even more basic.  Fear, hopefully embarrassment prevents him from learning and doing better.  However, all bad communications and relationships, he blames on others and his dad allows it because he doesn’t know how to help him communicate better.  That leads me to the next point….
  • ACCEPT Criticism and teaching so you can communicate effectively – There are times when the person who has the ability to help you, make not be the one you want but overlook that, get the help and move on!
  • Be angry but don’t destroy. EVERYBODY gets upset at some point, however words can either promote peaceful resolution or they can promote violent resolution.
  • WORDS ARE WEAPONS! Just as powerful as bullet and as lethal as a bomb, words in the wrong hands can destroy generations to come!
  • WORDS ARE THE ULTIMATE BOOMERANG – yep they come back to bite people all the time. The things one will speak to and about others can and will become his or her own reality.
  • Words are seeds that never stop reproducing and growing, plant good ones.

The choices you make with your words can have severe consequences.  Choose Wisely!

Choices & Consequences: Living with the Depth of your Choices

How do you make decisions/choices?  How long do you think about your options?  Have you ever just said, “I’ll deal with the consequences later?”  How long is later? A decision today will affect you for how long?

The above questions are crucial and ones to not take lightly.  The affects of one decision can be real long-term lasting longer than one remembering the decision he or she even made.  Making choices should never be taken lightly from your next purchase to career choices, every decision or choice made affects not only the present but the future.  A good decision propels one into the next level, moves them up, pushes one in the right direction set the tone for things to come, lays a foundation for one to build and grow.  The affects of a bad decision are lingering as well.  It works in the opposite direction as a setback, moving one away from goals etc… however, a bad decision much like a good one affects mind, body and soul.

Think about your worse decision ever made; from getting into a relationship to making wrong career moves, a bad decision lingers on and on and on.  It can have a domino effect knocking down a house of cards.  When one doesn’t take the time to evaluate bad choices, he or she can and probably will continue to make them, in an effort, to get out of the bad choices previously made.  Self-esteem takes a downward turn and any time one is reminded of their bad decision or watch the affects of choices play out in front of them, confidence decreases.  A bad decision can make one question everything about his or her life, thought process and even the ability to mange their life.  YES, I’ve been there.

A wrong financial move (spending money at the wrong time) can derail the budget and place one in debt that takes months to recover.  That’s why impulsive buys are detrimental.  Most people are pulling finances from limited financial resources, a missed bill, doubles or causes other bills to pile up and get behind.  Before he or she knows it, they are months off track financially.

A bad relationship decision takes years from one’s life.  Time spent or wasted on a person who isn’t right for you, means time away from the right person, not to mention the mental, social, financial, spiritual and physical ware and tare it causes.  Years go by and people still choose or don’t choose based on previous hurt.

Choices can have permanent consequences and therefore should be made soberly, cautiously and with thoughts of the current and the future.  Basically, when decisions/choices are made, one should look past the immediate need.

  • It sounds cliché but make a list of pros and cons which will force one to think about all the possible outcomes.
  • Be slow to make choices – remember, you have to live the choice made for life
  • Seek Wise Counsel – There is a lot of counsel out there and now that everyone has a social media platform the opinions are available 24/7.  Not all counsel is created equally.  SEEK WISE COUNSEL
  • Get unbiased counsel – sometimes people can be too close to help.  Relatives and close friends trade the truth for misguided loyalty.  Loyalty isn’t agreeing with everything one does, real loyalty is providing one with the truth.  Make sure you seek unbiased counsel.
  • THINK THINK THINK THINK before U do!
  • Sleep on it

I’m a firm believer that if people really understood the long-term affects of the consequences that accompany their choices, they would make better choices.  I know I would have.

KG