In an attempt to not be too preachy as it relates to my blog, but as a believer of the Word and a Minister of the Gospel; it’s hard not to refer to Word of God in certain situations. The “D” Bible verse, (known to my students) says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue and he that loveth shall eat the fruit thereof” ~Proverbs 18:21. The words we choose to speak are crucial! Words are our thoughts; we believe our thoughts and our thoughts become our actions.
The choices made on how one describe his or herself, the words one speaks about his or herself as well as the words one speaks to others makes all the difference in the way you view and handle situations and circumstances. It begins with our hearing the words we hear consistently develop our belief system. If one hears negative things consistently he or she becomes a product of that environment. He or she will speak to others and express him or herself in negative terms because it will become their normal. It is the same way he or she will treat and deal with others unless he or she is successful exposed and accepts a better or different way to express his or herself. Whatever a person’s normal is (be it negative or positive), based on what you have become accustomed to hearing, it is that sense of normalcy a person will seek from others.
The way one speaks is taught behavior that extends beyond the simple choice of words but registers in the mindset of the individual speaking. The words become the way one thinks, perceives others and the way he or she processes everyday activity. Have you ever known someone that no matter what or how something is said; can always see the bad? That person seems to make everything black or white, wrong or right, for me or against me? He or she is a product of their environment. Words are soooooo vitally important. The choice of words began by the way we teach our children and grows from there. I know someone that I love dearly and that person can only speak, enjoy themselves if they are speaking about something in a negative fashion. Sounds creepy huh? It’s not. For example, this person will only tell you things that they don’t like. So if you suggest going here, their statement is; “I don’t like crowds.” There is never an alternative suggestion offered and if you bring up something that they enjoy, they will agree and that’s that. No additional comments on how much they like doing this or that; but if there is a negative story of any type, that person will share it until it cannot be shared anymore.
The decisions/choices one makes are based on the thoughts entertained. People who tend to view things from a negative perspective have been taught to do so by either the repetitive hearing or the things that the individual encounters and in most cases a combination of both. Often the two can reinforce one another. Hearing negative and having negative occur completes a negative picture of their life based on reality for that individual. The thing is that picture of his or herself; is dismal and not completely true and a half truth is always a whole lie. Good and bad things happen to everyone but when your perception is defined by the negativity one will always and often see his or herself through the eyes of being a victim, smaller than the problem, unable to overcome, and the forever underdog.
Although we cannot see words, we can see the affect that words have on one another as well as ourself. It will limit or hinder that things and people one will expose his or herself; it stops the progress of growing making one stagnant and bitter. Words build low self-esteem or they can promote great self-esteem. Words fuel love or they can fuel hate. Words are powerful and since everyone has a voice, has the ability to use them, we must be careful as to how we use them.
- Be slow to speak, especially when you are angry. Even when you don’t mean to, speaking harshly is always remembered. While you can apologize, you’ll never be able to remove or erase what a person heard coming out of your mouth
- Use your words sparingly. Less really is more at times.
- Choose your words carefully. It’s important to mean what you say and say what you mean.
- UNDERSTAND THE WORDS YOU USE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could speak all day on this point. People who attempt to use words that they do not understand often hurt and damage relationships beyond repair! Take your time and understand what you are trying to say and communicate that effectively. I know a kid whose lack of education makes him almost illiterate at times. His ability to explain himself is sooo basic and his understanding even more basic. Fear, hopefully embarrassment prevents him from learning and doing better. However, all bad communications and relationships, he blames on others and his dad allows it because he doesn’t know how to help him communicate better. That leads me to the next point….
- ACCEPT Criticism and teaching so you can communicate effectively – There are times when the person who has the ability to help you, make not be the one you want but overlook that, get the help and move on!
- Be angry but don’t destroy. EVERYBODY gets upset at some point, however words can either promote peaceful resolution or they can promote violent resolution.
- WORDS ARE WEAPONS! Just as powerful as bullet and as lethal as a bomb, words in the wrong hands can destroy generations to come!
- WORDS ARE THE ULTIMATE BOOMERANG – yep they come back to bite people all the time. The things one will speak to and about others can and will become his or her own reality.
- Words are seeds that never stop reproducing and growing, plant good ones.
The choices you make with your words can have severe consequences. Choose Wisely!